In the bustling city, countless strangers brush past each other every day, seemingly without any connection. Yet, in this ever-changing world, the warmth of strangers is ever-present; their kindness and care make me deeply appreciate the beauty of life. "Being kind to others" is a fundamental principle we should follow in our interactions. However, with increasing social mobility in contemporary society, mutual trust among people has declined, especially exacerbated by the rise of telecommunications and online fraud. Nevertheless, we still need to maintain rationality regarding basic social trust and not doubt the entire society because of a few acts of dishonesty. We have all, to varying degrees, experienced receiving some kind of inspiration or strength from the "kindness of strangers." Because we all underestimate the importance of strangers. Underestimating strangers leads to all sorts of situations. So why do we underestimate strangers? And how do we do it?
Three Effects
Default to Truth
What does default to truth mean? It means we easily believe that a stranger is telling the truth.
In other words, we assume all strangers are honest. You might disagree, saying no, you're very wary.
Actually, when meeting a stranger, as long as the first impression isn't particularly bad, you'll generally assume they're telling the truth.
What constitutes a bad first impression? For example, if their clothing or appearance is a style you dislike, that's a bad impression.
Or, if you're close to them and notice an unpleasant odor, you'll dislike them.
Or, they might look remarkably like a former enemy.
Besides these other things, these strangers might not give you a very good first impression, but they won't give you a bad one either. In these situations, you'll assume they're telling the truth.
For example, if you ask them, "What's your surname? What's your name? How old are you? Where are you from? Are your parents healthy?"
You'll believe their answers 100%, because you have no reason not to, until they act suspiciously or their statements contradict themselves, then you'll begin to have doubts.
After developing suspicions, you'll gradually analyze what else is more suspicious.
Only when your suspicions accumulate to a certain level can you move beyond accepting the truth.
So this is a normal process.Take the example of many people being scammed. If you look at why they were scammed, you might laugh at them—it's that simple.
These scams are exposed on TV and in newspapers every day, how could you still fall for them? Yet, it's possible that you would fall for the same scam in such a situation.
You might say you wouldn't, but under certain circumstances, you might. Why?
Because believing others are honest is human instinct.
Why do humans have this instinct? Because humans need cooperation and collaboration in everything they do.
If humans were born suspicious of everyone, there would be no cooperation, and humanity might not have developed to its current state.
Therefore, for the sake of cooperation, we instinctively trust all strangers we meet for the first time, assuming they are honest.
So even if we are scammed, it won't cost us our lives.
Think about it: since ancient times, since the dawn of humanity, being deceived a little wouldn't be life-threatening, right?
However, if people don't choose to cooperate, they face life-threatening situations.
So, when weighing these two options, human instinct chooses to default to believing.
Therefore, the default assumption effect is the first aspect of the stranger effect.
Coupling Effect
What is the coupling effect? It means that the outcome of an event is not caused by a single cause, but by a series of causes.
This series of causes can result from N actions, so the coupling effect means that the cause you perceive and the result you see are not necessarily related.
For example, why did the story of the police officer and the woman driving happen?
Because in the United States, police are not allowed to conduct arbitrary body searches, nor are they allowed to search other people's cars or homes.
However, US traffic law stipulates that if you believe a driver has violated traffic rules, you can search them.
Therefore, many American police officers primarily deal with traffic violations on the road.
Out of 10 arrests, approximately 8 will yield illegal firearms; out of 20, approximately 1 will be found in possession of drugs. This method is consistently effective.
In the US, all police officers assume that anyone committing a traffic violation is a potential criminal, thus subjecting them to more thorough questioning.
If the driver is uncooperative, the officer feels particularly threatened. Why? Because non-cooperation implies an intention to assault an officer, right?
If you're in your car and someone asks you to do something, and you don't, and then you reach down to grab something, the officer might instantly pull out a gun and point it at you, right? They might think you're reaching for a gun to kill them.
So, from the police's perspective, this entire situation is a misunderstanding.
Now, let's look at the woman driving. She was in a particularly bad mood. Why?
Because she had just paid an $8,000 traffic fine, had argued with her boyfriend, and her migraines had flared up again. So, for many reasons, she became upset and uncooperative with the police.
The final result was that she was arrested and committed suicide in the police station.
Therefore, when interacting with strangers, we often make mistakes. What mistakes?
The police officer thought the woman was deliberately resisting law enforcement, that she had a problem, while the woman felt that the police, or rather, fate, was against her.
The Transparency Assumption Effect
What is the transparency assumption effect? It's the feeling that people can always see through others.
For example, this police officer believed he could see through the woman immediately; he believed that others were transparent to him, that he could always see through them.
For example, we often hear people around us say things like, "Someone like him..." What kind of mentality is this?
It's what we just discussed: he believes he can see through others immediately; others are transparent to him.
However, people often believe they are complex, that others cannot see through them, and that no one can truly understand them. Isn't that a contradiction?
I believe I can see through everything about others, and that no one can see through me. Everyone thinks this way—this is what we call the transparency assumption effect.
Especially when encountering strangers, do you truly see through them, or do they see through you?
Often, conflicts and unpleasantness arise precisely because both sides believe they have seen through each other.
For example, a police officer might be afraid of someone's lack of cooperation, assuming you're about to draw your gun. This woman, on the other hand, is simply in a bad mood and not intentionally defying the police.
But both sides assume you are exactly as they perceive you, leading to conflict.
Therefore, interacting with strangers is not as simple as we imagine.
So how can we better avoid being deceived, and how can we better prevent such unnecessary conflicts with strangers?